My intestines started to roil...
So I said to myself, Mike, go sit on the toil.
After duty done, I realized it was almost seventhirty
So i said to myself, Mike, get in the shower to become undirty.
Washing myself underwater in the buff
My sister enters the room and starts giving me guff
"Couldn't you have waited five minutes and stuff?"
My stomach couldn't wait, and after that I figured I'll shower
"But you know to get ready for work it takes me half an hour"
Again I say, my pain was acute, and I needed to relieve myself
Down that twisted porcelain chute.
So bugger off, and get ye to work
And stop griefing me, you longhaired female jerk.